21 BABY!!!

I am officially legal to drink :) and even though my birthday was on a Wednesday night, I had a pretty good time... well after I went to all my classes that is. Lets start from the VERY beginning of my birthday.

B, also known as bad boy, will also be known as blady which will be explained later. Blady was the first one to wish me a happy birthday via text, cause he was trying to get me to go out at midnight for a drink. I of course didnt want to since i had 8 am class the next day, and was already in my pjs.

Im gonna skip past the sleeping and going to class parts. At 7 i went to the varsity volleyball game since my parents came down for it, and i knew someone on the opposing team. My friends team won :) partly cause my school team sucks (which makes me glad i dont play for them). Then went out to dinner with my parents, my friend A, and another set of parents that i know. I had my first legal drink at dinner, a margarita, not that i like them that much, im not a big tequila fan, i would have rather had a daiquiri, but oh well. Now, since dinner was taking longer than usual, my roommates were getting upset, but i mean, come on, its my birthday, let me enjoy a little family time! we were back before 11, and no one was at the bar anyways.. so i didnt see the big rush that was being forced on me and A. I actually found out that the my other roomie R wasnt gonna go out with us because she was "annoyed"... it was MY birthday, and i went out to dinner with MY FAMILY. grr..

Well because of the drama going on with all that i didnt know how i was gonna get to the bar, so blady texted me and asked how my night was going, so i said shitty since my roomies are being stupid and i have no dd.. so he offered to pick me up :) We went to a local bar, where blady was gonna go and met up with D, my coach, and his friend C. Soon after my sister came :)

So since it was my 21st, people kept buying me shots.

1. Girl scout (my free b-day shot from the bar)

2. Shaved Beaver (from C)

3. Red Headed Slut (from Blady)

4. Fucking Awesome (from my sister)

5. Chuck Norris (from Blady)

I also drank something called a raspberry pucker sour, which was rather good. But i started drinking water after shot #4 cause i felt like i could have puked, so i kept getting teased by the guys for drinking so little, haha, im a lightweight, i admit it. I had a really good time though, i won at darts, drunk. And i looked damn good that night too.

So the nickname part of the night, my coach D found tape and a marker and was giving everyone nicknames.

I was Birthday Boobs, which i feel is self explanatory

My sister got Armpits, cause she was being weird like her usual self

A got Cry Baby, because she told D that she cried at the vb game.

R got Re, D didnt get too creative with her

C got Therapitst, or the rapist as R says haha

B got Blady, hence my new nickname for him

and D gave himself Old Man, which i feel fits very well

Blady also drove us back, which was rather nice of him.

All in all a good birthday.

Lotsa Stuf

To start off with, I dont think i ever updated about freshie. Well freshie had the audacity to ask me to be his girlfriend on facebook after we had hung out 3 times.. So short story shorter, we are just friends.

I've been super stressed lately. I joined this program at my school that a lot of people dont qualify for, but i do.. so i was basically forced to join. It will prepare me for graduate school after college, but i still dont know what i want to do with my life and this is forcing me to make a lot of decisions very quickly, not to mention all the work that needs to be done.. ugh. All this stress is making me emotional. I need to renew my license and things keep going wrong, so i ended up in tears for a good portion of Friday afternoon. I wish it would just get easier. I can already tell that I am the most unfocused out of everyone else in this program.. I hate being the stupid person in the smart classes..

So there is this guy, lets call him B, which suits him because i know that he is a bad boy type but i find myself drawn to him anyways. My friend absolutely hates him so I dont tell her much about him or our conversations anymore. But he keeps inviting me over to cuddle with him or watch movies. I've been invited over a couple times, but he also has a gf who goes to school an hour away, so i know that he only wants me to come over so that he isnt alone.. I just like getting attention from guys, and usually dont care who it is coming from, but i have a little kindergarten crush on him. When i saw him at volleyball last time, i kept looking over his way, just to look. Along with the fact that he has a gf, i also haven't gone over to his place because we never talk in person, just text and facebook, so things would be royally awkward because its my personality. I'm not a touchy feel-y person. I have to learn to be comfortable with the person first. So me cuddling with B just wouldnt happen. Another reason i havent gone over there is because he always asks me on the nights before my 8 am class, and i need sleep! Although he retaliates saying that he has a very comfy bed, but again, i would feel wrong sleeping in his bed (JUST SLEEPING) with him because he has a girlfriend. AND a very bad reputation of sleeping around.

On a happier note, Wednesday is my 21st birthday!! Hopefully the day will go well, i have a few things planned and a few other options. I'll update you with the aftermath :)

Yes and No

I hate this.. I miss K so much, but its pointless. It doesnt matter that I care for him, that he was instantly part of the family, that i could be myself around him, that i never doubted being with him.. I told nate that i loved him for most of our relationship, but I felt the same about K as i did about N, if not more. But i also hate K, because he doesnt want me. And why do i want someone that doesnt want me? So im angry with myself for still wanting him despite him not wanting me.

Bejeweled Blitz

I play this game called Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook.. but I feel like it has lost most of its appeal to me. Me and Special K always made a big deal about who did better each week, and i miss that. I miss competing over a better spot. I try to get first out of my friends each week, but its not the same. they could care less if my score was poor, average or excellent that week..

I still like to play, its an easy way to keep my mind occupied, but now it reminds me that he is gone also. Ugh. He just seemed so right for me... okay, okay, im gonna try to stay strong and not cry and finally move on. Cause he doesnt want me. he doesnt. I was just a summer fling to him, someone to bid time with. He hurt me. At least with N, i hurt myself.

Very Early Morning

Its 4 am currently, and i cannot for the life of me sleep. So i have decided to write one here, since i havent in a while. I believe when i last wrote it was something about still missing Special K.. which is still true. I miss him in many ways, but i am also trying to move on. So i will start with this:

About a week and a half ago i played volleyball out in the rain. It had been pouring outside for almost 24 hours, and the sand volleyball courts had turned into giant puddles!!! They looked like so much fun to play in. My friend and I decided that we needed to go out in the rain and play volleyball in these giant puddles, and we werent the only ones with this idea, since there were about 8 people already out there. Now let me tell you, this was one of the most fun activities ever. And hey, its free!! I had an absolute blast, but to my point. There was this one boy there, who stayed out when everyone else went inside. Lets call him Freshie, which is what I have been code-naming him elsewhere. Freshie is obviously a freshman. And one thing leads to another (well over a week) and we have been texting each other all weekend. Now freshie is very innocent. He has never even kissed a girl with tongue, but i think it would be a lot of fun corrupting him >:)

Plus he likes me, which im enjoying, since i tend to feel like im unwanted after i have a breakup. Now im NOT going to tell freshie that im still in the rebound phase of my last break-up, although it has been over a month/close to two months since i last saw Special K). I am just gonna see what happens and not force anything this time around. I still dont have my mind made up about freshie, guess i gotta hang out with him a little more and get to know him first.