Nothing New

So today I was making my room more homely, hanging up posters and pictures. But as I was getting the pictures out of my "random stuff" backpack, I found these old notes that I wrote. One to myself, about how lonely I was after breaking up with N, and the other was to N, even though I never planned on sending it. It was about how I missed him so much but knew that we weren't right for each other. I also know that I wrote one to K but it wasn't with these other notes.

But the point of this blog, it seems like nothing has changed. I still miss both N and now K, and despite if I'm around people or not, I still feel alone.

And what's worse is that I don't worry about what I'm going to do with my life as much as I worry that I won't have someone to spend it with..

I'm boy crazy.. I'm a hopeless romantic. I like cutesy stuff that others may find cheesy. I just want to be loved.

But what I have also noticed is that because I don't want to have to change a guy, I find that I try to change myself to fit with them. Even if I'm not in love with them, I want them to love me..

I just hate being so sad about this. Guys shouldn't be my source of happiness, but I really do feel unwanted when I don't have someone....