baby brother

I have a brother that i was never able to meet. He died when he was 3 months old, which was 2.5 years before i was born. His initials are eek, just like mine, in fact i was named after him. We were also born on the same day just different months.

I have always thought that he and I would be very similar, that we would have been close. My other brother and my sister shared a bond when they were growing up, and i always imagined that i would have shared a bond with this brother. I imagined that he would have an easier temperament, be super nice, athletic, smart, but not cocky. That he would be my best friend. As close as i am to my sister, she has never been my best friend, and i have no friends that i consider my best friend either.

I got my brothers baby blanket (a blanket that has a bear head), i got his name, and im sure i got other stuff. But mostly i feel as if i got his life. That i am living for him. Although I am not very spiritual, i like to believe that he is like my guardian angel, and is looking over me. I never got to meet him, yet i can say that i love him. He is here with me, in one way or another. I wish i could have met him, grew up with him, got to know him. And although i didnt, i feel as if i am capable to be the daughter to my parents that he would have been the son for.

you are with me, in spirit.