So Much But So Little

I like surprises. . . But did I mention that I am horrible at waiting for surprises..?

I know that BJ is going to propose, and while I have an idea, I don't know for sure when its going to happen.

I know and have seen a very pretty picture of the ring that my parents found and liked, but I don't know if thats the ring that he picked out with them last night.

I want tho know these things, but I really dont want to either, cause I want the surprise, the elation, the classic joy that is associated with a proposal. But I also want it all now. I want to be able to tell people, to be able to plan for a wedding, to look for a dress. I just am so excited for all of that, and I can talk about it with BJ and my parents, but I can't actually start anything. All I have been able to do is start a tentative guess list. And from the looks of my family and friends and his family and friends, we are gonna have a lot of difficulty keeping things as cheap as possible.

I just feel like I'm not a part of anything right now. BJ has seen my family more often than I have because I'm 7 hours away..

My parents got to watch BJ perform in his strongman competition, in which he got 2nd... next year we are taking first!

At the competition, my parents got to meet his parents for the first time. They hit it off, Dad N told BJ that he has to keep me because he likes my dad so much.

I'm missing out on everything here..

And I absolutely hate the math that I'm doing. Not like my group's project, just math research. But I got through to my mom and we are going to talk about my future when I get back, but I'm not being forced into graduate school anymore :)

I just wish I was done with this now. But I'm only half way, after this week I have exactly 4 weeks left, which means I've been here for 4 weeks. All i can say, is that I'm glad that I'm not a part of the 10 week programs.